Love isn’t Rocket Science

True love—something I’ve felt but rarely ever talk about. Mostly because love, to me, the words of love must never be louder than its actions. This is probably the first time I’m writing about it, and that’s because I’ve noticed that so many people today seem to have a great misconception about what love really is.

So many are so quick to fall for the concept of someone—the idealised version that exists in our heads. The one crafted by fleeting moments, filtered conversations, or the perfect Instagram post. But that’s not love. That’s fantasy. And while idealisation might feel thrilling, it’s unfair because it leaves little room for the reality of the person to breathe.

Real love? It’s far from the lofty ideas we romanticise. Love is an active, intentional choice. It’s choosing someone not in spite of their flaws, but with full knowledge of them. It’s not loving who we wish they’d be, but who they truly are—unvarnished, imperfect, real.

We need to draw a distinction between love and romance. They are not the same. Romance is intoxicating: the candlelit dinners, heartfelt gestures, the butterflies. It paints love in vibrant colours. But love? Love is raw and demanding. It’s the constant choice to meet someone at their point of need, where their vulnerabilities and weaknesses are laid bare.

Romance is beautiful, but fleeting. It’s an accessory to love, not the foundation. Real love thrives in the moments romance cannot reach—the mundane, the challenging, the unfiltered realities of life.

To love is to give all of yourself. It’s choosing patience when irritation feels easier, showing kindness in the face of frustration, and forgiving when bitterness beckons. The words we use to describe love—selflessness, endurance, understanding—are rooted in meeting another person at their most vulnerable. Substitute “need” for “weakness” or “fear,” and you begin to see the weight of love’s responsibility.

This is why love is often tested in the darkness. When romance has faded and imperfections are in full view, love steps forward. It becomes the light we hold for each other, the steady pulse that keeps us connected.

Love is not the perfection we imagine; it’s the choice to embrace the imperfection we see

To truly love, we must abandon the idealised versions of people we create in our minds. People are flawed. They will falter, hurt, disappoint, and fail to meet expectations. Love does not excuse all things, but it embraces imperfection. It chooses to stay and hold someone through their flaws—unless doing so puts your own survival at risk.

This truth is uncomfortable but essential: love demands an honest reckoning. Not every flaw can be accepted, and not every bond is worth keeping. But where love persists, it does so because of an unrelenting commitment to see, accept, and support the person in front of you—not the one you wished they’d be.

Love, to me, is a paradox. It feels eternal but fragile. It transcends space and time, yet it’s vulnerable to neglect. It requires effort, yet it’s effortless when it’s real.

This is what makes love beautiful. It’s not the grand gestures or poetic promises. It’s the steady, daily commitment to show up. To keep holding on. To believe in the connection you’ve built, even when it feels hard.

I’m not saying romance doesn’t matter. In fact, I love romance. It’s the spark, the fireworks, the beauty. It makes love feel alive and exciting. But romance is like the icing on a cake—it makes it sweeter, but it’s not the substance. Love is the foundation, and romance adds colour to it. Together, they create something extraordinary.

So, this is me, choosing to write about something I’d prefer to express through actions. Love isn’t perfect, and it’s certainly not easy. But it’s worth it. It’s the light that shows up in the dark, the steady pulse that keeps beating when everything else feels unsteady.

“I’ll love you for more days than the sun will see, and with more depth than the Pacific has known. I’ll love you beyond time, and beyond whatever lies beyond time.” – A line I am yet to use for the one who’s worthy of it.

Love is a choice, made not once but again and again. It’s not about chasing a fantasy; it’s about embracing reality. And in that choice lies its true beauty.

Cheers to true love.